Jiraiya's Oh So Naughty Christmas
by Merciless Ruby
Summary: Jiraiya should really stop pretending that he’s Santa Claus and leaving sexy lingerie for the kunoichis, or else he’ll have a bunch of pissed-off boyfriends after him. NejTen & other pairings. Warning: it's sexual. R


**I know, Christmas was 3 days ago. Bah, dammit! Anyway, this popped into my head when thinking about something perverted. What? Don't give me that look! Anywayz, here's this...one-shot! Hope you enjoy & review!**

**I do not own Naruto!**

**Here are the pairings you'll fine in this fic: NejTen, SasuSaku, NaruHina, ShikaTema, GaaIno, and TsunadexJiraiya (in a very weird way).**

* * *

Jiraiya was in big trouble. Carrying an empty red sack, he leaped from tree to tree, getting away from a pissed off Hyuuga, Uchiha, and Uzumaki. Lucky for him, that Nara kid was too lazy to do anything about it and the Kazekage was halted by Ino since she was the only kunoichi that loved the gift he had left.

The perverted old man knew that he could run, but he couldn't hide; especially with that Hyuuga after his ass.

"Get back here you, pervy sage!!!"

Naruto's voice was heard, but he didn't stop as he felt their presence right behind his. Taking a quick glance back, which was one of his many mistakes, he felt one of Neji's fingers hit him right on the chest, a strong pain rising through his chest.

His speed slowed down for a few seconds, but as he did, Sasuke attacked him from his side and finally, Naruto tackled him down to the ground.

Damn.

"You got some serious explaining to do, pervy sage!"

Jiraiya stared at the shinobi's faces, giving them all a cheery smirk. "E-Explanation? For what?"

"What do you mean for what? You know what you did?"

The fifty-three year-old chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "Care to explain, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha's eyes narrowed, his fist suddenly making contact with the man's face. "Get away from Sakura. I don't know what sick game you're playing on the kunoichis, but it's going to end."

"B-But I'm doing nothing to the kunoichis! I just left them harmless presents!"

"Harmless presents?" Naruto reached into his pocket and took out the red-colored bikini, throwing it at him. "You left this in Hinata's room!"

"It's her Christmas present! Don't throw it like that! Took me forever to look for a bikini that looks tight and nice on-"

"Shut up! Just stay away from Hinata!"

"As a matter of fact, stay away from every woman in the village." The Hyuuga prodigy added, Byakugan still activated.

* * *

"Wh-What if they find out that we really l-like the g-gifts?" a nervous Hinata asked, watching as Sakura, Tenten, and Temari talked about their Christmas gifts.

"Shikamaru doesn't really mind." Temari said, smiling at the short, _very short_, peach-colored nightgown. The nightgown was halter-top and reached an inch below her crotch. At first, she had felt awkward receiving a strange gift from one of the biggest playboys, but since the gift was just too sexy to throw away (and her boyfriend is too lazy to even be angry about it), she decided to keep it.

"Sasuke was furious, and I lied to him about hating this. But honestly, I think it's cute!" Sakura held up the pink outfit in her hands. It consisted of a pink tank top with a bunny (playboy bunny, if you're familiar with it) shown in the front along with pink booty shorts that said **_Bite Me_** in the front.

"Same with Neji." Tenten added, "and even though I'm not into the whole being sexy thing, I still like this." She showed them what the perverted old man had left her in her apartment. It was a red strapless bra consisting of a red thong, something Tenten was always nervous about wearing, especially in front of her Hyuuga boyfriend.

She remembered Neji's hot-so-happy face when he had first discovered that Jiraiya had left her that as a Christmas gift……_inside_ her apartment. She, like Temari, Sakura, and Hinata, had been crept out at first by the thought of _Jiraiya_ buying sexy lingerie for them, sneaking into their homes, and leaving it right beside them as they slept.

"Say, where's Ino? I heard she got one too."

"Unlike us, she likes hers and doesn't care that it was Jiraiya who had bought it for her." Temari replied. "Gaara didn't want her wearing the lingerie Jiraiya gave her, but you know Ino…."

"Were we the only ones that got something from him?" Sakura asked, staring at the **_Bite Me_** of the booty shorts. How can Sasuke not like that?

Temari shook her head. "According to Shikamaru, Kurenai-sensei got a vibrator since Asuma's dead and her sex-life won't be as fun for her."

"Pervert," Tenten murmured, but couldn't keep her eyes away from the gorgeous lingerie she had received.

* * *

Jiraiya was glad that the Uzumaki kid had a heart. If it wasn't for him, Neji and Sasuke would've cut him into a million pieces.

However, maybe cutting into a million pieces would be better than this.

He cursed at the tightness of the red bikini.  
_  
Damn, those kids…_

He wiggled around, trying to get lose, but the ropes weren't just any ordinary ropes. The Uchiha and Hyuuga kid had added _something_ to the ropes while Naruto had somehow managed to strip him naked and put the bikini on him.

He had been tied onto the tree for an hour now and knew he had to do something before someo-

"Jiraiya?"

The man froze, looking forward as his eyes fell on the beautiful Hokage.

_Oh no…_

"Yes, Tsunade?"

The woman coughed, trying to hide her laughter. "What happened to you?"

Sigh. "I've been….a terrible Santa…"

"Yes you have." Tsunade agreed, releasing the gift he had left her last night. She walked closer to him and placed the object right in front of his face. "You gave every other woman lingerie-"

"I gave Kurenai-sensei a vibrator-"

"…But you gave me this thing-"

"It's a dildo! I figured you needed one since you-"

"Shut up!" she yelled, face red. But then, she received an idea, and an evil smirk rose to her beautiful features. Jiraiya didn't like that smirk at all.

"What are you planning?"

Tsunade broke the ropes with her chakra; however, as soon as he was free, she pushed him down, face first to the ground.

"Wh-What are you doing?!"

Tsunade got on her knees behind him, and making sure he wouldn't escape from her uncommonly strength. She then grabbed the present he had left and looked down at him.

"This might hurt….a lot…."

* * *

"Tenten, what are you doing with that?"

The kunoichi ignored his glare, staring down at the thong and bra laying on her lap. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as she heard his footsteps getting closer and closer.

"Sorry, Neji, but it's just too sexy to ignore! Don't you think it can-"

"_Tenten-_"

"-spice up our sex life!"

Silence.

The prodigy's eyes narrowed; a hard punch right on his pride!

Noticing how _deadly_ his glare looked, Tenten gulped. She knew she should've thrown it out like he had ordered; but it was just so _sexy_! She couldn't just throw it out. She had tried it on after he, Sasuke, and Naruto had gone after Jiraiya, and saw how erotic it made her look. How can Neji _not_ like it at all?

"Are you saying that what I give you isn't good enough?"

The Weapons Mistress blinked, realizing how _closer_ he had gotten towards her.

"Neji, no-"

"So, you have been faking everything for the past two years?"

He was taking it the wrong way and Tenten didn't know what to do but stare at those angry milky-round eyes of his as continued walking towards her with one of his hands on the button of his shirt. Her eyes remained on his slow, seductive movement as he was soon standing in front of her.

Neji pushed her down on the couch with a single finger, causing a shriek from her. She looked up and stared at his well-built chest, and subconsciously she licked her lips.

Neji noticed this and chuckled, lowering his face down to hers as soon as he was on top of her.

"Get ready to scream…" he whispered in her ear, her blush beating out Hinata's.

…..And from that day, Tenten _knew_ the consequence of hurting Neji's pride when coming to sex.

* * *

**;D Very sexual...... if you used your head right! And, hopefully you understood what Tsunade did to Jiraiya.................... hehehehe. Anyway, 2010 is right around the corner! 2009 was an OK year: every year is OK. Good and Bad things happen. It's life. Anyway, tell me what you thought about this one-shot! Merry Christmas and Have a Happy New Year!**

**REVIEW!**


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